Attention husbands: Your guide to a pregnant woman’s perfect Valentine’s Day

Attention husbands: Your guide to a pregnant woman’s perfect Valentine’s Day

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I'll never forget being pregnant with my first child shortly after marrying my husband. It was Valentine's Day, and he came home from work to find me in the bath, feeling down. I wasn't up for a romantic night because I was huge, swollen, and cranky. So the man was already walking on shaky ground.

But then, he committed an offense he has yet to live down to this day, almost 11 years later. My new husband handed me a single rose, and a store-bought card he hadn't even signed. Poor guy. I just burst into tears as he backed out of the bathroom slowly. I heard the garage door open. Half an hour later, he arrived back home with a gift card for a prenatal massage.

Guys, I'm going to help you give your pregnant wife a perfect Valentine's Day, so you don't end up in the same predicament my husband did, years ago. One rose and a last-minute greeting card aren't going to cut it when she's growing your child inside of her, fellas. This is a year you have to go above and beyond to make her feel special and loved. Here's how...

I shouldn't even have to tell you that a pregnant woman's perfect Valentine's Day starts with food. In an ideal world, you'd present her with a whole spread, right in bed, first thing. But if work and life negates that as a possibility, any food at any point of the day will suffice.

To my husband, if you're reading this, I'm kinda thinking pancakes. With whipped cream on top. And eggs, smothered in sour cream. You could do some waffles with tater tots and cheddar cheese on top, too. As far as the coffee, make it good! I can only enjoy a cup of caffeine per day, so let's not waste it on the watered-down gas station variety.

Men, your pregnant partner is going to require a menu tailored to her own individual cravings. Think about what she's been asking you to bring home lately. Then go to work preparing a buffet of her favorites, even if the combos seem off-putting to you. You're not the one with a tapeworm sucking the life out of you.

After food, she'll need pampering. Every pregnant woman's perfect Valentine's Day will include a foot and lower back rub. Guys, take your time. Being massaged is like sex for a pregnant woman, so let her enjoy it.

She might want a snack next. Otherwise, husbands, do a lot of stuff around the house. Anything she wants, or else she will have to do it, and she'll get crabby, and the nice things you have done so far today, will fade into the back of her mind.

Once you have put away laundry, or vacuumed, or picked up the kids' playroom, it's time to cuddle on the couch with a movie. Don't try to take your pregnant wife out to dinner, or to a movie. She's too darn tired for that. Let her put on some comfy pajamas and watch a romantic comedy with her feet up. Chocolate and more foot rubbing will earn you bonus points.

Finally, when your exhausted pregnant partner falls asleep on the couch, carry her to bed. Whisper how beautiful she is, and how much you love her. Don't skip this step! And another tip: Don't drink strong-smelling alcohol around her. Your breath will smell, so she won't want to kiss you, and she'll resent you because you can drink, and she can't.

Well, okay, there you have it, guys. Pulling off the perfect Valentine's Day for your pregnant partner doesn't have to involve expensive gifts or flowers, although if you want to go that route, she's probably not going to mind. Just don't forget that in addition to optional roses and jewelry, we really just want love, attention, food, and lower back pain relief this Valentine's Day.

Photos: iStock

Opinions expressed by parent contributors are their own.

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